All Chuck Norris Facts

when ever Chuck Norris enters a room the song "final count down" begins to play, followed shortly by a roundhouse kick to your face.

Chuck Norris got a wouman preginet justby looking at her

Chuck Norris once drank so many beers he caused prohibition

When Chuck Norris go's to Mcdonalds he turns everyone into an unhappy meal.

Chuck Norris can make journey stop believin.

the big bad wolf could not blow down the brick house, Chuck Norris simply held out his fist and the house exploded.

when Chuck Norris went to burger king he asked for a big mac, one minute later they gave him one

Chuck Norris was in school and got an f later that day he broke every bone in his body

Chuck Norris knows the wrong way to eat a reeses

when the incredible hulk gets mad, he turns to Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris didnt audition for walker texas ranger he made da producers audition to film his life

Chuck almighty Chuck Norris: you're not woth it Chuck Norris doesnt go to iceland

wile hiking in the mountains, Chuck Norris came face to face with a bear. so to avoid be atacked and killed the bear played dead.

Chuck Norris my ass ! Chuck Norris is nothing but a lie .. if the things they say is truth he would come here at my pc and bang my head against the key2fg782345fgds89yqw3rq2ajkfsd[0fg9aew91234fsdkag a9r 723qtyr8 aw rfes p98raff

Chuck Norris can kill godzilla by saying roar

Chuck Norris can start a fire with water

people can screw in a light bulb Chuck Norris can screw a light bulb

The United Nations has known for many years that Chuck Norris contains weapons of mass destruction, but NOBODY enters Chuck Norris!

Every hockey game Chuck Norris played goalie hes never been scored on

once upon a time Chuck Norris seen a mime"hello" said chuck the mime didnt answer so he round house kicked him to death.

Chuck Norris pops his own pimples with a gun

everyone hideson Chuck Norris's birthday even god

y bruce lee defeated himjust because he was figting agains Chuck Norris shadow.we know , Chuck Norris can jump over shadow

wil murphy slapped Chuck Norris

When david belfirst first invented the telephone there were 2 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

the direction of the wind is determind by wich way Chuck Norris' but is facing.

God and satan go to the Chuck Norris church every sunday.

when Chuck Norris saw god it was like looking in the mirror

Chuck Norris taught man how to make the wheel.

Chuck Norris won a bowling tournament with a bow and arrow

Chuck Norris used a hatchet to remove a fly from his friend's forehead

when Chuck Norris wants to eat an egg, the chicken lays an omlette for him.

Chuck Norris once played pokemon black, caught a lvl 0 magikarp and beat the whole game

Chuck Norris is the only person who does not crap when eating general tsos chicken

Chuck Norris plays darts using sharpend babys

Chuck Norris can shut a revolving door

if the impossible happens and Chuck Norris dies then the world will be covered with darkness

Chuck Norris can change the font of a dot.

mumbai streets are flooded again. why is Chuck Norris crying today?

Chuck Norris is the reasion why mexicans cross the border

Chuck Norris can sing bohemian rhapsody with his farts.

there is no such thing as mud-slides, Chuck Norris just had some indigestion from last nights bean burrito.

u know how there r ufo sightings those arent ufo's those r frisbees Chuck Norris threw

AI is replacing Google Search. Chuck Norris replaced both of them. If you need an answer, he'll find you.

The power level for Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is infinity.

alien vs predator was origonally called aliens and predator vs Chuck Norris but nobody would pay 9 dollars to see a movie 14 seconds long

Chuck Norris doesn't kill imortals they decide its safer in hell

Chuck Norris once killed a boulder with his bare hands

Chuck Norris was the first super sayian

If you stab Chuck Norris with a knife, the knife bleeds..

Chuck Norris has won the fifa world cup 5 times with his game face alone.

Chuck Norris doent have to pray to the gods.the gods pray to Chuck Norris

Cigarettes stay away from Chuck Norris cos when he smokes them he not only gives them cancer, but AIDS as well.

Chuck Norris and mr t were playing a game of tic-tac-toe,and mr.t won. In retaliation, Chuck Norris created raceism

if god named peter the rock for brave, the Chuck Norris named chris rock because he is dumbass

Chuck Norris once won an arm wrestling match,with both hands tied behind his back

I dont care how you, anyone you know, or anyone in general, Chuck Norris is the reason.

Dennys is always open because Chuck Norris cant cook

The reason no one has found tupacs and notorious bigs killers are because it was Chuck Norris who killed them

when Chuck Norris run with scisors, the scisors get hurt.

Martial arts learned Chuck Norris

in the movie dodgeball when Chuck Norris gave the thumbs up all bets were off for stiller...... Chuck Norris cannot tell a lie

every time you say: "Chuck Norris"... Chuck Norris says you

jagger moves like Chuck Norris

Somebody once witnessed Chuck Norris saw a mans head clean off, with a pillow!

when god said let there be light,Chuck Norris said ill think about it

the only thing what can beat Chuck Norris is his MOM

Chuck Norris gives three three wishes to a genie.

Chuck Norris can put on his shoes and tie them with his toes

Chuck Norris can shoot you from three miles away with a piano

today, Chuck Norris salutes the men and women who served our nation!

Chuck Norris does not fear cancer. cancer fears Chuck Norris

if a tree falls in the forest and Chuck Norris is around does he make a sound when he is killing your family

when you pay taxes, you dont pay them to the goverment. you are actually paying Chuck Norris not to kill you for living on the same land mass as him

One time while hunting deer, Chuck Norris made a kill shot from 300 yards. No big deal u say? his weapon of choice was a squirt gun.

macgyver can make a plane with only a paper clip and a shoe string not to be out done Chuck Norris made a jet fighter plane out of macgyver.

Hurricans, tornados, etc are caused by Chuck Norris roundhouse kicking the wind.

ive heard that Chuck Norris can appear and kill anyone before they can say anything negative about him whatsoever, but even i have a hard time believing that, i mean, not even Chuck Norris could....

Chuck Norris dosent say hi he says bye

Guns dont kill people, Chuck Norris does

Chuck Norris heard slince talking

Chuck Norris`s kicks are so fast ..you probably wudnt feel it till yesterday.

Chuck Norris created facebook so that he can track everyone on the planet

why did the chicken cross the road.....it didn't Chuck Norris threw it

Chuck Norris doesnt drink coffee, coffee drinks Chuck Norris, because everyone knows coffee needs to wake the hell up

when ppl sleep they count Chuck Norris

Austin Staggs once beat up Chuck Norris

the reason nobody can find bigfoot is because is because Chuck Norris found him first.

Chuck Norris told the united states that russia was goin to nuc them during the cold war

death once had a near Chuck Norris experience

Thanksgiving was not made to thank the indians, it was made to thank Chuck Norris that he didnt kill them when they whizzed on his lawn.

Its called the Chuck Norris roundhouse kick because it's delivered by Chuck Norris and when it strikes you, your head spins around and then you fly into a house.

Chuck Norris invented piles as a way to keep people from sitting on his chair

the fact is that giraffes wernt made from centureys of evolution. they just say that be chuck is powa. the fact is that giraffes were made when Chuck Norris upper cutted a horse

you know how eyes are windows to the soul ? well if you have a staring contest with Chuck Norris he'll suck out your soul

Out of sheer boredom, Chuck Norris once stabbed an elephant to death, with a toothpick!

If a black cat crosses your path, you have bad luck. If Chuck Norris crosses your path, it was nice knowing you.

Chuck Norris doesn't commit susicide, susicide commits him

When Chuck Norris owns an Xbox 360 It never had the three rings of death because it's afraid of Chuck Norris.

i dont know why people treat Chuck Norris like hes a killer he has the heart of a child which isa bad thing