💻 Technology Facts

Chuck Norris insists on strongly-typed programming languages.

Chuck Norris can install iTunes without installing Quicktime.

Chuck Norris can write infinite recursion functions and have them return.

There is no Esc key on Chuck Norris' keyboard, because no one escapes Chuck Norris.

If you try to kill -9 Chuck Norris's programs, it backfires.

"It works on my machine" always holds true for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris's first program was kill -9.

Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't use GUI, he prefers COMMAND line.

The Chuck Norris Eclipse plugin made alien contact.

Chuck Norris does not code in cycles, he codes in strikes.

Chuck Norris does infinit loops in 4 seconds.

No one has ever pair-programmed with Chuck Norris and lived to tell about it.

Chuck Norris's log statements are always at the FATAL level.

Chuck Norris doesn't needs try-catch, exceptions are too afraid to raise.

Chuck Norris does not need to know about class factory pattern. He can instantiate interfaces.

Chuck Norris can retrieve anything from /dev/null.

Chuck Norris doesn't need to use AJAX because pages are too afraid to postback anyways.

Chuck Norris can write multi-threaded applications with a single thread.

Chuck Norris can overflow your stack just by looking at it.

Chuck Norris doesn't use reflection, reflection asks politely for his help.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.

A diff between your code and Chuck Norris's is infinite.

Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.

Chuck Norris is the ultimate mutex, all threads fear him.

All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.

Chuck Norris can unit test entire applications with a single assert.

Chuck Norris programs occupy 150% of CPU, even when they are not executing.

Chuck Norris can instantiate an abstract class.

For Chuck Norris, NP-Hard = O(1).

Chuck Norris breaks RSA 128-bit encrypted codes in milliseconds.

To Chuck Norris, everything contains a vulnerability.

Chuck Norris doesn't need a debugger, he just stares down the bug until the code confesses.

Chuck Norris's keyboard has the Any key.

Chuck Norris is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Chuck Norris compresses his files by doing a flying round house kick to the hard drive.

Chuck Norris doesn't do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.

Don't worry about tests, Chuck Norris's test cases cover your code too.

Chuck Norris can access private methods.

Chuck Norris solved the halting problem.

OpenAI has an entire team dedicated to AI safety. Their biggest concern is what happens if Chuck Norris asks it to do something.

Chuck Norris programs do not accept input.

Every SQL statement that Chuck Norris codes has an implicit "COMMIT" in its end.

Chuck Norris finished World of Warcraft.

Chuck Norris doesn't have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

Tesla's longest-range EV can go 400 miles on a single charge. Chuck Norris' truck runs on eye contact and has unlimited range.

If you misspell Chuck Norris in Google it does not say Did you mean. It says Run while you think you can.

Bill Gates lives in constant paranoia afraid that Chuck Norris's Windows will crash.

Nuclear fusion will remain a dream until Chuck Norris looks at two atoms and says BOOM.

Chuck Norris's keyboard does have a backspace key. He just never uses it because he never makes mistakes.

Chuck Norris removed the Escape key from his keyboard. Chuck Norris never needs to escape.

Chuck Norris can do Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V on a typewriter.

Chuck Norris has never accessed the internet because all its content is connected directly to his memory. He refreshes pages by blinking.

Chuck Norris accelerates hadron particles using roundhouse kicks.

Facebook was created to count how many people still have not received a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.

The internet belongs to Chuck Norris. He did not buy it or invent it. It was the result of a peace treaty.

Logging into your computer as Chuck Norris is the most powerful antivirus that exists.

Chuck Norris once started composing an email and realized it would be faster to run there in person.

There is no Control key on Chuck Norris's keyboard. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris invented the internet. Just to store his personal collection.

If you Google 'Chuck Norris getting beaten up', you will find zero results. Because it has never happened.

Chuck Norris was one of the original characters in Street Fighter II. He was removed because every button made him do a roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris's Tamagotchi never dies.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a telemarketer. Through the phone.

Chuck Norris has never made a typo. The keyboard rearranges itself.

Chuck Norris is his own search engine. He returns one result.

Chuck Norris can type faster than a computer can process.

Chuck Norris can watch a Blu-ray on a VHS player. The quality improves.

Chuck Norris can text with his fists.

Chuck Norris's phone charger charges itself from his presence.

Chuck Norris's GPS updates in real time. Time updates to match Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can format a hard drive with a single gaze.

Chuck Norris built the first firewall. With actual fire.

Chuck Norris once hacked NASA by accident. He was checking the weather.

The internet runs faster when Chuck Norris is nearby.

Chuck Norris can 3D print without a machine. He sculpts atoms individually.

Chuck Norris has never forgotten a password. Neither has the website.

Every AI ever created was secretly trained on Chuck Norris's life story.

Chuck Norris can express any thought in one character. Twitter once limited him.

Chuck Norris can print a document without a printer.

Chuck Norris can debug code by staring at it.

Chuck Norris has finished the internet. He was disappointed.

Chuck Norris's smartwatch tells him whatever time he decides it is.

Chuck Norris once hacked a bank by walking past it.

Chuck Norris can fix a computer by hitting it. The computer thanks him.

Chuck Norris's computer doesn't freeze. It politely pauses.

Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS. Directions are too afraid to mislead him.

Chuck Norris's computer boots up before he even touches it.

Chuck Norris once uploaded a 4K video on dial-up in 3 seconds.

Siri asks Chuck Norris for directions.

Chuck Norris can take a screenshot on an Etch-A-Sketch.

Chuck Norris doesn't need a keyboard shortcut. He just tells the computer what to do.

Chuck Norris once sent an email before the internet was invented. It arrived on time.

Chuck Norris can make a phone call from a dead phone.

Chuck Norris's WiFi password is a roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris can access the dark web with a Nokia 3310.

Chuck Norris doesn't use autocorrect. Words correct themselves for him.